Assignment 1, Submission 1- Formal Letter
Dear Professor Brad,
I am Yumeme, and I am writing this letter to introduce myself as one of your students in CVE 1281 T5.
I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in civil engineering with business in 2021. My interest in engineering started when I followed my father, who is also a civil engineer, to his office and project sites since young. Hence, I decided to pursue civil engineering, so that I can help my father with his business, such as assisting him with the management of his upcoming projects.
Listening is one of my communication strengths. I would actively listen when my friends are sharing their problems or giving me feedback about my work. For example, when I was doing my Final Year Project (FYP) back in polytechnic, I would listen to my team members when they gave me feedback to improve on my work.
One of my communication weaknesses is that I have stage fright. Thus, I tend to be softer during presentations. Due to this weakness, I tend to repeat my points and answers multiple times.
Through this module, I hope that I can articulate better and in proper english. I would like to improve my english so that I can use it while conversing with others, especially in a formal setting. I think that being able to hold a conversation is one of the important communication skills that is needed in the workplace. Thus, I would like to pick up this skill as well.
Lastly, what makes me different from others is my perseverance. I encountered a lot of challenges while doing a programming module last trimester. However, I did not let my setbacks stop me. I did a lot of research, asked my friends for help, and persevered through the module. In the end, I exceeded my own expectation for that module. I look forward to learning more from you. Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Yumeme
Commented on:
Justin
Wang Zhe
Farzana
Correction:
Paragraph 2, line 3: can-> could
Paragraph 5, line 1: english-> English
Paragraph 5, line 1: english-> English
Hi Yumeme,
ReplyDeleteYour letter has a logical flow which made your writing clear and complete. I can relate well to your weakness as I used to have severe stage fright when I was in primary school. I overcame this fear through practice. You have to embrace this fear of yours and make it work for you, or it will work against you. What I would recommend is that you practice your presentations beforehand. Visualise your ideal performance and replicate that. I believe you can do it and conquer your fears.
If you ever need help practicing, do feel free to approach me or my groupmate Thomas. We are always happy to help whenever we can.
Cheers!
Ian Marc
Dear Ian,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my letter and offering your help! I will take your advice on stage fright and I will let you know how it goes.
Best regards,
Yumeme
Dear Yumeme,
ReplyDeleteI love the flow of your letter, it is clear and well organised. Perhaps you could further elaborate on what sparked your interest to pursue civil engineering during the trip with your father. I relate to your strength as I have a similar strength as well. Glad to see that we have some similarities! I look forward to knowing you better in class.
Best regards,
Justin Lim
Dear Justin,
DeleteThank you for reading my letter and giving me feedbacks on how I can refine my letter. I will elaborate on it. See you in class!
Best regards,
Yumeme
Dear Yumeme,
ReplyDeleteGood job! I enjoyed reading your letter as it is straight to the point and eloquent. You managed to include examples and past memories of yours in the letter which allow readers to relate better. I really like the part about you describing about your strength. Honestly, being an active listener is a good trait that not everyone can possess easily. Looking forward to knowing you better!
With regards,
Gabriel
Dear Gabriel,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my letter! I look forward to knowing you better too!
Best regards,
Yumeme
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Yumeme,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this remarkably concise and coherent letter. It is heartwarming to know that one of your motivations in pursuing a degree in civil engineering is to help your father in his business. Reading your letter has helped me reflect and reaffirm my motivations for pursuing this degree program.
If I may give a suggestion, I believe that in the line "so that I can help my father with his business, such as assisting him with the management of his upcoming projects." the verb "can" should be changed to "could" to match the tense of the statement.
I am glad to have known you better through this letter. I am confident that you will be able to overcome your weaknesses and anticipate the great strides you will make towards your goals with your perseverance. See you in class!
Warmest Regards,
Wang Zhe
Dear Wang Zhe,
DeleteThank you for reading my letter! I will edit my letter accordingly. See you in class too!
Best regards,
Yumeme
Dear Yumeme,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this well expressed, finely detailed letter. It's clear, concise and highly informative. You do a fine job addressing the assignment brief as you share your educational background and motivation for studying engineering, your strength and needs in terms of communication skills and your goals. It's also interesting for us readers to learn about your personality traits. I'm happy to hear that you can persevere through the challenges you face.
As mentioned, this letter is fluent, but your readers have some good input. Also, do take note that you need to capitalize the word English as it's a proper noun.
I look forward to learning more about you this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Professor Brad,
DeleteThank you for taking the time off your busy schedule to read and comment on my letter. I will edit my letter accordingly. See you in class!
Best regards,
Yumeme